Cooking With Heart

His eyes shine when the word is mentioned.

Barbecue.

"I cook with love," says Mr. Bobby Douglas. "I can tell you exactly how I cook it, but you can't replicate it because I cook with love. I cook from the heart." 

The man who has served Stillwater fine barbecue for decades through his "customized cooking" approach reopened for business as "D's Bar B Que" yesterday, September 18. Bobby and his wife Joyce do all the cooking and serve the food from their trailer that sits on their property. 

The business had been temporarily closed since July 10. The Douglas's had been helping his mother in Tulsa, who was a week away from her 101st birthday when she passed over the summer. Bobby was recently hospitalized and needed time to recover at home.

But his return to cooking people delicious food was inevitable.

"I like to cook. It's a part of me. It's like breathing. I've been doing it since I can remember. That's what I do!" said Mr. Bobby Douglas.

Bobby can remember back to when he got started with BBQ at a young age. He grew up in Tulsa, the oldest of four boys, and was allowed to stay home and cook on Sundays as long as dinner was ready "by the time mama got home."

Throughout his college years at OSU, he was #99, a linebacker from 1975-1976, and he continued to cook, even just for family and friends. During his senior year, he met Joyce Dibbs, whom he married shortly after.  After graduating from OSU, the Douglas's moved to Tulsa for Bobby's job building airplanes for Rockwell International, now Star Spirit Systems, out at Tulsa airport.

Around 1980, he started his "customized cooking" business. He wouldn't cook on company property but asked his coworkers, "Man, I'm cooking this week. Do you want something? Let's say this week is brisket, potato salad, and baked beans. Five dollars. Do you want one? He'd say, 'Yeah Bobby write me down,' so I'd have a list of about 19-20 people, but they would pay me in advance." 

Over the weekend, he and his wife would cook, and his wife would bring the food out to the job on Monday at lunchtime.

In 1989, the Douglas family decided to move back to Stillwater, but Bobby kept his job in Tulsa. One week he would take orders for his coworkers and deliver the food to them. The following week, Bobby would make calls around town to prominent community members and say: "Hey man I'm cooking this weekend, and you would say, 'Ok man cook me up a side of ribs, cook me half a brisket or a whole chicken or stuff like that."

He wrote every name and number down for his "customized cooking" business in a book. He showed me his customized cooking book, carefully turning over the faded half-sheets of paper, dating back to the 80's. As he looks over the faded names and numbers, some pop out. Bob Simmons. Pat Jones. Les Miles. And a basketball player known as 'Big Country'.

Memories and tears came flooding back. Bobby recalled a young man he cooked for who played on the basketball team who died in a plane crash. "I cooked for him all the time man, and there was something about that night, when he died in that plane crash, I just felt something that he had passed…that hits me even today because he was such a young kid and had so much going man but you know hey, it's just life. I've got a lot of memories."

Over the 27 years Bobby commuted between Stillwater and Tulsa, he calculated he has driven 1,400,077 miles. "I have sleep apnea. So over 400 thousand miles, I was sleeping." For someone who has driven 400 thousand miles asleep, remarkably, he was only in one car wreck, but he had many close calls.

One such memory was when he fell asleep and drove off a grass bank, launching his car in the air.

'This one time, I was driving, and I woke up, and I was looking at this overpass, and I said, 'My God, that overpass is low!' Then I came down, right? And my car just bounced like a basketball. Then when it stopped, I said, 'Thank you Jesus!' and kicked it back up to 80!" Bobby recalls with laughter.

In 2017, Bobby and his son RC opened D's Down Home Bar B Que to the public on their property next to their home. Bobby wanted to create a business for his son to have and continue the legacy of great barbecue in Stillwater since their location was built upon a previous BBQ joint.

Some menu items, like the "Three Point Stance" sandwich, are an ode to Bobby's time as a defensive lineman. RC came up with the name for the sandwich since it has three types of meat in it—a good option for a first-timer.

The only sauce Bobby puts on his meat is love. Anything else is suspect. "Actually, really, truly, good barbecue is eaten without sauce. If you go into a place and they bring you food with barbecue sauce all over the meat, it's no good. The barbecue sauce is trying to make up for the deficiency in the meat.

And excellent barbecue should pass the 45-minute test, he says.

"Once you get through eating the meat, that smoke flavor should be in your mouth at least 30-45 minutes after you finish." Having eaten his barbecue, I can attest that that is what his customers can look forward to.

And after losses and health setbacks, Bobby is now looking forward too with his sanguine smile and faith-based optimism.

"It's just time…I need to get back into living! It's time for me to put all that stuff behind me and look forward. That's what I'm doing now.

The Douglas's continue to cook for others and would for free if they could afford to, from their trailer beside their home as they prepare to celebrate their 46th year of marriage. And every day before he starts cooking, Bobby has a routine:

"Man, before my feet touch the ground when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I say is, 'Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see this day.' Because he didn't have to."

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